The Power of Modesty

The Source Of The Power

Modesty? A source of great power? Yes! Modesty is the source of this delicate yet formidable power, making it a power in and of itself. It's delicate because it can be so innocently given away without your even knowing it. It's formidable, or difficult to deal with or control because once you've mastered it, no man will be given access to the full secrets behind your allure until you so desire.

Immodesty removes the obstacles and invites any passing guy to desire you in his mind. It's a cheap thrill requiring no investment on his part. It offers him the power of your body at his control. He is motivated by lust.

Modesty protects the true secrets of your body for one man, requiring him to invest into your life in order to one day enjoy your allure. It invites a guy to earn your virtue. Finding love this way is a long and slow process, and it often seems like it will never happen. That's part of what makes it so sweet. Proverbs 13:19 (NIV) says, "a longing fulfilled is sweet to the soul." It is the waiting that makes it so precious and that invites him to work to earn your heart.

Is That Really What God Intended?

Was it God's plan to have us "try" this guy and then that one like you might a new cosmetic line that advertises, "Try us for 30 days free!"? Is it possible that God had something else in mind? Let's get to the heart of being a woman, says Dannah.

God originally created woman to complete ... fulfill ... finish man. In Genesis 2, God surveys His fine creation and finds everything just right. He uses the word good. Everything gets this label, with one exception. He says in verse 18 (NIV), "It is not good for the man to be alone." God could've easily filled that void in Adam. He didn't. Instead, He crafted a masterpiece - woman! You are a masterpiece. You have been given all of the power of a masterpiece that is worthy of every glance you receive. And ever since Eve, guys have been glancing.

Beauty and fashion aren't condemned by the Christian faith. On the contrary, beauty seems to be nearly synonymous with God's glory. In the book of Revelation, God is described in undeniable splendor. Things we consider to be beautiful seemed to adorn Him. John's vision of heaven, Revelation 4:3, says that God sat on His throne, and He was so amazingly beautiful that the writer said He "had the appearance of jasper. ... A rainbow, resembling an emerald, encircled the throne." I think it's only fitting that we, created in His image, strive to express ourselves through beauty as well.

8 Good Reasons to Have Sex Now

Girl –
I love him
I want him to be my first
He's waited long enough
I don't want to lose him

Guy—
I love her
We've been going out for a long time
I have needs
It's time we took our relationship to the next level

Hey, why wait? Those are all some pretty good reasons to have sex. I mean, you could have said you want to have sex to use each other, or to give somebody else that lingering infection because you shouldn’t have to suffer alone, or even the old overused excuse, “everybody else is doing it!” But no, your reasons are pretty good, aren’t they? To go along with these carefully thought out reasons, here are some of the great “benefits” of getting sexually involved now, before you get married.

You’re going to get hurt

No matter how you look at it, even when you have good reasons to do it, premarital sex hurts…a lot. If you are a guy, you might think it’s just the girl who gets hurt, but you’re only partly right. The girl will get hurt, because she has this uncontrollable tendency to attach her heart to any guy she gives her body to, unless she’s already been made cold-hearted from the pain of offering her body to be used so many times that she doesn’t care anymore.

But as a guy, you will get hurt too. By indulging in non-committed sensual pleasures, you will be setting yourself up for a lifetime of comparisons that will hound your thoughts and make you unable to be content in your most valuable future earthly relationship—your marriage. The guilt you’ll have—and there is always guilt eventually—will eat you up so badly that you will be a target for addictions or avoidance that will prevent any true intimacy in this life.

Both you and your girl will be hurt in another way that you never anticipated. Someday, if you marry each other, she will likely have respect issues and resentment toward you for not valuing her body enough to protect her purity. How will this hurt you? Not only will you have to deal with a resentful wife, but sex will be the tool that she withholds from you. Then you will resent her and the vicious cycle begins.

Your future is going to get messed up

You already know that teens get pregnant, teens get abortions, and teens get STD’s. Those are all ways that your life can get messed up now and stay that way for a long time. But other long term effects are hard to measure. If you sleep together now and end up getting married, it’s likely from all the statistics that you won’t stay married. And let me tell you from experience, divorce is one of the hardest things you will ever try to survive on this earth. When you split the lives and history you’ve built together, it’s like your heart has been ripped in two. If you have kids together, double the pain. The Bible says that when you got married, you became ONE flesh. The only way to separate one flesh is to rip it in half, leaving gaping, bleeding wounds.

God is going to get pushed out of your life

There’s no way around it. When you are living to please yourself and ignoring God, He isn’t going to force Himself on you. That means that you aren’t going to have His help, His encouragement, His direction, or His awesome plans working out in your life. You might think you’re having fun for awhile, but eventually, living for yourself is going to hurt. You will end up lonely, depressed, hopeless, purposeless, and passionless. That’s because you can’t ignore God for long and enjoy your life. You can try, but you will never be peaceful or satisfied. It is impossible. The Bible says in Romans 8:7, 8, “If your sinful nature controls your mind, there is death. But if the Holy Spirit controls your mind, there is life and peace. For the sinful nature is always hostile to God. (NLT)”

Something better than “good”

Oh, oh…those good reasons to have sex don’t look so good anymore. Thank goodness that there are some even better reasons not to have sex. The better reasons are so much better for you and your future, that they reveal an amazing truth: Your “good” reasons to have sex now, instead of waiting until you are married, are actually bad reasons.

Remember that God loves you and only wants the best for you. His directions for you to stay pure are not to keep something from you, but to help you experience the very best He has to offer. He’s the one who created love and sex. Follow His directions for using it and it will be the best it can be.

Dating a screen addict?

A couple of years ago, I overheard a telling snippet of conversation between two eight-year-old boys walking down the street. “Do you want to play Game Boy?” the pudgy, bored-looking one asked. The second boy shook his head. “Well, do you want to go inside and watch TV?” Replied the second boy, in an exasperated tone of voice, “Can’t we just do something that doesn’t involve looking at a screen?”

If you’re dating someone who’s addicted to his (or her) 47-inch plasma TV, portable gaming system, or whatever it is people do with their cell phones when they’re not actually talking on them, you’ve probably asked this question yourself. What can you do when the love of your life (and let’s face it, it’s most often a guy) can’t tear himself away from his PlayStation long enough to utter a simple “I love you?” Well, here are some suggestions:

Don’t nag. There’s something about yelling, “Turn that thing off already and answer my question!” that makes a guy think of his mother, not a promising prelude to a romantic evening. “Instead of criticizing and complaining, suggest some activity you both enjoy, like rollerblading or hiking,” says Diana Schneider, author of Opening Love’s Door: The Seven Lessons. “If you nag, it’s more fun for him to be with the TV or Game Boy than to be with you.”

Be proactive. If you and your boyfriend are living together, you can nip any excessive screen time in the bud by preventing the situation from getting out of hand in the first place. Next time you’re in Circuit City, steer him away from the wide-screen TVs and toward the stereo equipment (it may be more expensive, but at least he’ll glance at you once in a while). Rather than buying a Game Boy for his birthday, reserve a bed-and-breakfast vacation, preferably at a remote country inn with no TVs or wireless Internet.

Turn the tables. If your guy is still mesmerized by the Fox Network, you may have no choice but to wield the Nuclear Option, or what Schneider calls the “Fear of Loss” strategy: “Tell him he needs to carve out some couple time, or he should be prepared to lose you.” Short of this, she suggests, “as soon as he picks up the Game Boy, estimate how long he’s going to play, then go out and do something by yourself.”

Use your words. If your girlfriend is the type who feels the need to check her cell phone every five minutes — or actually calls up her friends in the middle of a date — Schneider says the calm, cool approach works best. “Tell her something like, ‘I really love it when you’re with me, so I would really appreciate it if you would limit your cell phone talk when we’re together,” she advises. Then, when she’s in the bathroom, fetch the gizmo out of her purse and load up a quick game of Tetris.