27 Laws of Shopping for Women

Members of the male gender are hereby instructed to follow these rules or risk lack of sexual intercourse for five to 10 years.1. Newspaper is not wrapping paper. Neither is a plastic bag from HMV. Neither is hiding the gift behind your back.
2. Best wrapping paper: katespaperie.com.
3. When you must give gifts: anniversary, birthday, Valentine's Day, Christmas/Hanukkah.
4. When she would also like you to give gifts: Arbor Day, Flag Day, Kazakhstan Independence Day (December 16), Chester A. Arthur's birthday (October 5).
5. Flowers are not gifts. They're a garnish.
6. If you are going to buy said garnishes: roses minus the baby's breath, monochromatic tulips, orchids on the stems, eremuri, calla lilies in colors.
7. Carnations and chrysanthemums are the floral equivalent of T.G.I. Friday's.
8. A blue box from Tiffany's is the ultimate packaging, because it will make the Gift Givee squeal, " Oohh! A blue box!"
9. Addendum: Gift Giver understands that contents of said blue box must also be from Tiffany's or risk serious injury to lower part of body.
10. Practical gifts are a federal offense. You are better off giving a single leg warmer than any of the following: coffeemaker, paper shred-der, vacuum cleaner, computer, fancy pen, smoke alarm, or forklift.
11. Acronym gifts are likewise violations: CD, DVD, BSE.
12. If you don't trust your taste, buy her a service: a massage, facial, or mani-pedi. Prepay the tip.
13. You shall not willfully ignore this obvious but crucially important shortcut: Ask Gift Givee's friends and family for suggestions.
14. If you must buy your girlfriend a dress or skirt, you shall not supersize. Size down, not up. Banana Republic's size 2 is really more like a size 6 these days.
15. Pay attention to the fine print. She says: "I loved that bracelet Rachel was wearing." Your translation: "Let's have a threesome with her." Actual translation: "Buy me that bracelet."
16. Most coveted shoe brands, in descending order: Manolo Blahnik, Jimmy Choo, Via Spiga, Charles David, Nine West.
17. Giver can never go wrong with cashmere.
18. Surf and ye shall find. A few good shopping sites: uncommongoods.com, sephora.com, girlshop.com, blissworld.com, bluefly.com.
19. Try giving six wrapped wine bottles, each labeled with a watershed relationship moment: first anniversary, first baby, first house, et cetera. Open and drink when you arrive at said moments.
20. Addendum: Do not include first affair, first arrest, first divorce.
21. Avoid self-improvement gifts, even if the Givee asks for them. A book on the South Beach Diet will not get you laid.
22. When buying clothes, it's safest to stick to things that will not lead to further self-esteem issues involving the size of her body parts. Examples: hats, gloves, scarves, sarongs.
23. Don't buy lessons. Yoga sessions and pottery classes put the onus on the Givee, and no one likes an onus.
24. Snooping is not a violation; snooping is encouraged. When Givee is not home, look in her closet to see if she likes Club Monaco, J.Crew, or Chanel. If it's Chanel, quietly close the closet door and back away. You were never there.
25. Find item Gift Givee is most proud of and buy a newer, better, more expensive version of identical item. Consider: You're a basketball fan. She buys you tickets to a lacrosse game, citing the logic that it's also a game with a ball and a net. Or else she comes home with NBA playoff tickets, courtside. Which makes you happier?
26. Regarding cards: Avoid ones with jokes about her age, weight, or sexual shortcomings. Try making a card, using a color Xerox of your favorite photo of the two of you … oh, forget it. Fredflare.com or papyrusonline.com.
27. Perform due diligence. Next time your girlfriend is paging through a magazine, listen to her instead of nodding vacantly. Ask to see the item she's drooling over. Make a mental note. Fetch

Go Ahead -- Be a Hero!

MAKE YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD BLOOM
The historic downtown center on the west side of Olathe, KS, was falling under the shadow of a construction and population boom on the east side. That irked many residents, including Lila Courtney. "A lot of east siders didn't even know we were there," she says, but west side businesses needed foot traffic, and the residents needed to feel proud of their area.
So when she read in the newspaper that the city council was forming neighborhood committees to target specific areas for growth, she joined immediately. City planner Sara Copeland helped Courtney's group get permission to create a community garden in a lot where a church once stood. The city provided some funding (the rest has come from grants and a small fee charged to gardeners), plus free water sources and lines. Olathe's parks department plowed and tilled the lot to prepare it for crops. "We've completed our third summer now," Courtney, 62, says proudly.
The garden plots are so popular that Courtney's group is planning to expand the garden into the former church's parking lot. "We're so pleased about the community garden because we just wanted a voice," says Courtney. "Now we're speaking for this area of downtown--and we're being heard."
How you can get started
■ Keep your eyes peeled for an area in which to propose your public space, and have a specific action in mind when you ask for assistance.
■ Prepare to make your pitch at the next city council meeting. Check your city or town council's or community board's website for times and places of meetings and the proposed agenda, or for a number to call to find out this information. (To find a council or board in your area, do an Internet search for your town's name, or look in the phone book.) There's usually time at the end of a meeting for general comments, but if you'd like to get on the agenda beforehand, your community's website may tell you how.
■ Do your homework. Prepare three or four talking points stating why you want to make a change. Anticipate possible objections, and have your responses ready.
KEEP YOUR KIDS SAFE
Sarah Ringler, a teacher at Pajaro Middle School in Watsonville, CA, had always worried about her students' safety. The busy street in front of the school had crossing guards--but no stoplight. Then, one day, before the guards arrived, two 13-year-olds were struck by a car. They were fine, but an indignant Ringler spoke with the school principal about installing a traffic light and learned that others had tried-- and failed--to make it happen.
Based on her experience in her teachers' union, she had a hunch that county supervisor Lou Calcagno could get results. So she had her English Language Development students start a letterwriting campaign to Calcagno. This summer, the light was put into operation. "I'm proud of all of us who participated," says Ringler, 57, "because we made our school and the community safer."
How you can get started
■ Show a need for action. Document any history of safety concerns. Call the city desk at your local newspaper; a reporter might know of, for instance, past traffic incidents, and she could also raise awareness of your cause.
■ Start a petition to prove how many people are affected--and outraged.
■ Take that evidence to the right authorities. For school-related safety issues, approach your parent-teacher association to drum up support. If your issue is, say, replacing a rusty swing set in a park, identify the legislator who can help--it might be your city's recreation manager, county commissioner, local alderman, or city council member (see "Call on Your Government" on page 5). Then, request a meeting. Many officials are happy to meet with constituents.
SUPPORT LOCAL BUSINESSES
Alzada Knickerbocker found her way into politics after opening her bookstore, The Avid Reader, in Davis, CA, two decades ago. To promote her business and industry, she joined the Northern California Independent Booksellers Association and became president of her chapter. "Public policy and the vote can affect a small business's success," says the 62-yearold. "City councils can approve zoning to let huge chains open nearby, and states can make workers' compensation expensive for small businesses."
Knickerbocker also participated in city council meetings about forming a downtown business association--which she then helped to launch. And she spoke to the California state legislature in support of a bill to lower the cost of health insurance for employers. Knickerbocker knows that a business owner speaking from experience is more effective than any lobbyist, so she's optimistic about the bill's future. "Small businesses embody the entrepreneurial spirit and the creativity of the individual," she says. "They're a cause that's worth the fight."
How you can get started
■ Join the National Federation of Independent Business. "Their members write to and meet with government representatives and have influenced public policy on issues like minimizing unnecessary regulations, fees, and tax burdens," says Knickerbocker.
■ Find out if your city council has a small-business committee by looking at the council's website or asking business owners. If your city doesn't have one, rally business owners to advocate for one.
MAKE YOUR VOICE REALLY COUNT
Know, too, that you can make yourself heard well beyond your zip code, as Debbie Smith of Williamsburg, VA, found out. In 1989, at age 34, she was raped near her home. Police suspected a particular man of the crime, but didn't have ample evidence to prove his guilt or to allow them to obtain a DNA sample from him. For six years, Smith lived in terror that he'd come back and kill her. When the same man, Norman Jimmerman, was convicted of another crime, his DNA was added to a then new "offender database," so it could be cross-checked with DNA collected at other crime scenes. Sure enough, police could finally prove that Jimmerman was Smith's attacker, thanks to DNA evidence collected in the hospital after her assault.
At the end of Jimmerman's trial, in 1998, then Attorney General Janet Reno invited Smith to talk about her experience for a national committee convened to discuss the future of DNA testing. Smith almost said no. "I have an extreme fear of public speaking," says the 51-year-old. "But I couldn't let this opportunity go to waste." Another important opportunity arose when Congresswoman Carolyn Maloney (D-NY) asked Smith to testify at a congressional hearing in June 2001 about how DNA technology had identified her rapist. Maloney was proposing a bill that would provide funding for processing DNA evidence, training Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners, training prosecutors and law enforcement officers in the collection and use of DNA evidence, and establishing a national standard for its collection. She was so moved by Smith's speech that she named her bill the Debbie Smith Act.
"The passage of the act in 2004 was a great day for all the victims and survivors of sexual assault," Maloney says. "Law enforcement can now get many more rapists off the streets and throw them behind bars, where they belong."
How you can get started
■ Figure out if your issue should be dealt with on a national level. If it affects all Americans, the answer is yes. For instance, concerns about the environment or federal programs such as Medicare, Medicaid, and welfare should be taken to your U.S. senators and representatives.
■ Call your senator's or representative's district office. You can find out what district you live in and the contact information for your official's local office through Vote Smart (see "Call on Your Government" on the next page). You'll be directed to a real person whose job is to respond to voters' concerns. Note: Don't just send your legislator an e-mail; most members of Congress get thousands a day, and phone calls are much more likely to actually get results.
■ Remember, you can make a real difference. Recognize the power you already have as a citizen--and put it to work for what matters to you.

10 Reasons You're Healthier Than You Think: Healthy Everyday Habits

Remember how thrilled you were when you found out that eating chocolate was good for you? Well, we've got more happy news: The latest research shows that the simple pleasures in life, like going out for lunch, laughing, and even having sex, boost your immune system. Here, these and seven other ways you're improving your health.

1. You hang out with friends two or three times a week.
There's no need to feel guilty about indulging in a gossip-fest with your girlfriends. Researchers at the University of California at San Diego found that women with large social networks (more than six close relationships) weighed less and had lower rates of smoking, diabetes, high blood pressure, and depression than women with fewer friends. These women also reduced their risk of dying from heart disease by more than half. That's not all. In a study at the University of Wisconsin published last December, women who reported having close relationships with pals had low blood levels of interleukin-6, a protein linked to Alzheimer's disease, rheumatoid arthritis, and cancer. "Strong social ties may be protective against disease, perhaps because they buffer the effects of daily stressors," explains study author Elliot Friedman, PhD, a psychologist. Top That: Go on a girlfriend getaway, even if it's just for a weekend. Women who take at least two trips a year are less likely to be tense, depressed, or tired than those who rarely get away, according to a study by the Marshfield Clinic, a health research center in Wisconsin.

2. You drink three cups of coffee a day.So what if the cashier at Starbucks greets you by name? "Drinking three 8-ounce cups of coffee every day slashes your risk of both Parkinson's disease and Alzheimer's, by 40 percent and 20 percent respectively. Enough studies have been done that we can say this with confidence," says Michael Roizen, MD, chair of the division of anesthesiology, critical-care medicine and comprehensive pain management at the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio. Top That: Need an afternoon caffeine boost? Instead of java, drink two or more cups of tea. You'll reduce your risk of ovarian cancer by 46 percent, according to a new study from Sweden -- perhaps because of the antioxidants in tea.

3. You rented Wedding Crashers -- again -- this past weekend.Go ahead, crack up: Laughter can actually be as healthy for you as exercise. A study published this past February in the British Medical Journal found that watching a funny movie (There's Something About Mary) made viewers' blood vessels expand more effectively, while a stressful film (Saving Private Ryan) caused vessels to narrow, restricting blood flow. "When you laugh, your body releases endorphins, chemicals that help counteract the effects of stress," says Lee Berk, a professor and laughter researcher at Loma Linda University's School of Public Health and Medicine in California. Top That: Having a crazy day at work? Close your eyes and visualize yourself at home watching your favorite comedy. Berk's research has found that just anticipating a humorous event can boost your mood by increasing the body's production of endorphins as much as 25 percent.

4. You never sleep for eight hours.Rest easy: Research shows that seven hours is actually best for your health. According to a 2002 study, women and men who slept about seven hours a night had the lowest mortality rates. "The average woman sleeps about six and a half to seven hours, which is close to the ideal," says study author Daniel Kripke, MD, a professor of psychiatry at the University of California at San Diego. "We found at least a 15 percent increased risk of dying among women who slept more than eight hours or less than four." (Researchers theorize that these women may be prone to conditions such as depression or sleep apnea.) The bottom line? "If you're getting six or seven hours a night and feeling energized and alert, you've got nothing to worry about," says Dr. Kripke.Top That: Schedule a.m. workouts. Women who exercised for more than 30 minutes each morning were 60 percent less likely to have sleep problems than on days when they didn't work out, according to a study done at the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center in Seattle.

5. You take your lunch hour. It might seem virtuous to scarf down a sandwich in front of your computer every day, but a 15- or 20-minute break outdoors is a much smarter move. The sunlight can boost your mood, making you more productive for the rest of the afternoon, and it may also help prevent disease. A review of studies published in the American Journal of Public Health found that getting sufficient vitamin D significantly reduced the risk of developing colon, breast, prostate, and ovarian cancers. Fifteen to 20 minutes of daily sun exposure helps your body manufacture vitamin D, which can boost your immune system. Just don't go more than 20 minutes unprotected, as that increases the risk of skin cancer and sun damage. If you live north of Washington, D.C., however, you're probably not getting enough sun to produce vitamin D from November to March. Make up for it by taking a multivitamin that has at least 200 IU daily; and also load up on D-rich salmon and fortified milk and orange juice.Top That: Spend your time outside strolling, not sitting. In a Harvard Medical School study, women who walked about a half an hour a day reduced their risk of heart disease by 35 percent.

6. You brush twice a day.It seems like a no-brainer, but taking good care of your teeth and gums does more than give you a nice smile -- it can protect you from a stroke or heart attack, according to a new study. Researchers in New York looked at 657 people with no history of heart disease and discovered that those with the highest levels of bad mouth bacteria had increased artery thickness and elevated white-blood-cell levels, both of which can raise heart disease risk. "We think the bacteria makes its way into your bloodstream, leaving artery walls inflamed and narrowed," says Sally Cram, DDS, a periodontist in Washington, D.C.Top That: Go for a cleaning every six months, especially if you're on the birth control pill or pregnant. "Hormone changes can make you more sensitive to the plaque and bacteria that can cause gum inflammation," says Cram.

7. You wear a sports bra when you work out.Good move! Research at the University of Portsmouth in England shows that when a woman runs without a bra, her breasts bounce up and down 3.5 inches for each step she takes. "After a mile, that's about the equivalent of your breasts bouncing 472 feet, which puts huge amounts of stress on the outer skin and connective tissue," says study author Joanna Scurr, PhD. Wearing a sports bra reduced bounce by 74 percent. Just be sure to choose the right fit. "I recommend that you try on at least three sizes and jump up and down in them," says Julia Alleyne, MD, medical director of Sport Care Women's College Hospital in Toronto. Replace sports bras every six to nine months when they lose elasticity and support.Top That: You can revitalize sag-prone breasts with chest exercises, which help sculpt muscles and make your bust appear higher and firmer, says LaJean Lawson, PhD, an adjunct professor in exercise and sports science at Oregon State University. Bench presses and push-ups are good options; do at least three sets of 8 to 12 three times a week.

8. You read the newspaper this morning.Your 20s and 30s are the best time in your life to build up brain reserve; you lose about 1 percent of your brain cells each year by the time you hit your 40s, says Zaldy Tan, MD, director of the Memory Disorders Clinic at the Beth Israel Deaconess Hospital in Boston and author of Age-Proof Your Mind. Mentally challenging activities, including reading and playing musical instruments at least three times a week, can provoke the growth of new cells and connections in the brain. "Someone who does the New York Times crossword puzzle four days a week has an almost 50 percent lower risk of developing Alzheimer's than someone who does it once a week," says Dr. Tan.Top That: Take ballroom dancing lessons. A study at Albert Einstein College of Medicine found it may be the most effective exercise in warding off dementia. "Ballroom dancing works your body and your mind -- it may be you need both to offer your brain protection," Dr. Tan says.

9. You had sex last night.Lovemaking can help reduce stress, according to a recent Scottish study. For two weeks, volunteers kept diaries of how often they had sex, then researchers monitored their blood pressure in anxiety-raising situations. The results: Blood pressure increased less in the volunteers who'd recently had intercourse than in those who hadn't. "The calming effect may be linked to the stimulation of a wide variety of nerves, including the vagal nerve, which extends from your brain down to your pelvic area and soothes your heart by reducing blood pressure and heart-rate increases during stress," explains Stuart Brody, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of Paisley in Scotland. Researchers found no such health benefits from oral sex or masturbation, probably because they don't involve the deep penetration that leads to vagal-nerve stimulation, says Brody.Top That: Snuggle with your guy afterward. Cuddling releases oxytocin, a hormone that gives you a warm, fuzzy feeling and further reduces stress.

10. You eat cereal for breakfast.That bowl of bran may improve your mood. People who ate cereal felt more positive, did better at memory-related tasks and were less stressed than those who just grabbed a cup of coffee, according to studies at the University of Bristol in England. Cereal may also help you ward off a cold; research shows that those who eat it report fewer symptoms of respiratory illness. "Some brands are high in fiber, which helps reduce fatigue and increases energy; and they're fortified with micronutrients such as folate and magnesium, which may help boost your immune system," says Andy Smith, PhD, a psychologist at the University of Cardiff in Wales. Top That: Toss in a handful of blueberries and half a banana and you'll get more than 200 milligrams of potassium, 18mg of magnesium, and 14mg of folate, which may help fight heart disease.

Look 5 Years Younger -- in 10 Minutes

Step 1
"Undereye puffiness is the result of fluid retention," says Dr. David Bank, a Mt. Kisco, NY, dermatologist. And you can thank the sun for that bluish hue. "Over time," Bank explains, "the sun depletes our collagen supply, making skin less plump and taut, and causes tiny blood vessels beneath the skin's surface to dilate and burst." (You don't feel it happening, but the vessels show through thin skin.) A chilled gel-filled eye compress will constrict them (making them less noticeable) and reduce puffiness.

Step 2: Give Crow's-Feet the Boot
"Since wrinkles result from a loss of collagen in the skin," says Bank, "to truly get rid of them, you need an eye cream with retinol or some vitamin A derivative, such as retinyl linoleate or retinyl palmitate." These products plump up the skin and soften fine lines by boosting collagen production and stimulating cell turnover.
Step 3: Boost Your Brows
"A good arch can offer amazing lid-lifting effects,"
says Bruce Wayne, makeup artist and groomer of Kelly Ripa's brows. He suggests using eyebrow stencils to create your perfect shape. "By using stencils you can try on different brow sizes and shapes before committing to one," says Wayne. Here's how: Place the stencil over your brow and color over brow hairs with a highlighter. A white eyeliner will work, too. If you like the shape, tweeze all the hairs that are not highlighted, then rinse away the pencil marks. For the softest, prettiest look, fill brows with powder, not pencil.

Step 4: Don't Skip the Concealer
"Never mind five years younger; a great undereye concealer can make you look 10 years younger," says Sue Devitt, celebrity makeup artist. Opt for one with peach or yellow undertones to cancel out that bluish cast under your eyes. Texture is also important: "A nontacky texture will smooth over fine lines instead of settling into -- and enhancing -- them," says Devitt. Try some on your hand: "It should feel light and smooth," says Devitt, "and shouldn't flake off or crack when your skin stretches." Devitt's own formula (Sue Devitt Studio Automatic Camouflage Concealer) contains elastic-y Nylon 12, actual nylon that expands and contracts when you smile or furrow your brow. And avoid concealers that are lighter than your skin. "They'll add 10 years to your face!"

Step 5: Brighten Up -- Choose One of These Quick Tricks from Our Experts
Bright eyes light up your whole face — like afterglow without the sex (sorry, but that would make six steps). Some of these tricks may seem like old news, but they're touted over and over again because they really work. Here, three bright moves:
Remove the redness with Visine
"You can't look your youngest if your eyes are bloodshot or bleary," says Bank.
The blues
"Navy eyeliner accentuates the whites of your eyes, regardless of your eye color," says Devitt. More of a makeup minimalist? Try a light-blue liner.
Makeup magic
Smooth a creamy skin-similar shade of shadow across your brow bone. "The hint of tint will draw attention upward and lift your entire eye," says Wayne.

Find More Time to Socialize: 8 Time-Savers for a Better Social Life

It's All About Scheduling
When you were younger, it was easy to have an active social life. At a moment's notice, you could pop around the corner for a beer or game of Frisbee. But as you get older, more pressing matters take over -- like earning a living, staying healthy, and spending time with your family. If you want to reconnect with friends and jump-start your social life but don't think you have the time, try these tips from our experts.

1. Double Your Pleasure
Instead of meeting your best friend for a glass of wine or cup of coffee, combine your socializing with other activities like exercising or shopping. "Schedule a manicure with a friend -- you can talk the whole time you're being worked on," says Kathryn Alice, author of Love Will Find You. After all, going for a run or picking out your fall wardrobe is a lot more fun when done in twos.

2. Book the Next Date Before You Go Home
Whenever Laura Stack and her husband visit with their friends, she always ends the evening by planning the next date. "They used to tease me about this, but now they're very disciplined about bringing out their calendar," says Stack, author of Find More Time. For people with kids, Stack advises having a standing date with a babysitter. "Then you know and she knows that every Saturday night you're going out. You may not know what you're doing, but you're going out," she says.

3. Buy Birthday and Holiday Gifts All Year Long
"When I see something a friend would like, I just get it," says Stack. After all, it takes no extra time to toss something into your cart the moment you see it, and it saves you from trolling the malls the day before the big occasion. You'll probably also get a better price.

4. Combine Work and Personal Calendars

"If you keep multiple calendars, you'll have conflicts -- you'll double-book. You'll talk to your friend and say 'Let's have coffee.' Then you'll check your Blackberry and realize you have a big meeting at work," says Stack. You can only be in one place at one time, so your appointments should all be in one place, too. Your best bet: sync up your work calendar and contacts with a PDA device so you can have the most up-to-date information with you when you're on the go.
Prioritizing People and Place

5. The More the Merrier
Organize group activities like book clubs, pub meets, or potluck suppers. "This way, you can catch up with many friends at once," says Alice. You'll also give your friends the pleasure of each other's company, and maybe make a few new friends yourself. Another bonus of group outings: You eliminate the problem of the endless rescheduler -- that maddening person who always cancels at the last minute. Set the date once, and anyone who gets "held up at work" will have to wait until the next time.

6. Guarantee a Worthwhile Evening
As any single person knows, finding time to date can be incredibly difficult -- so many frogs, so little time! If you're planning a date with someone you're not sure about, like a man you met through an Internet dating site, or that guy your Aunt Sally insists is your soul mate, there's no way to ensure that the chemistry will be in sync or the conversation sparkling. But Lynn Harris, author of Breakup Girl to the Rescue! A Superhero's Guide to Love and Lack Thereof, says you can avoid that wasted-evening feeling by doing something you wanted to do anyway -- like seeing that film everyone's talking about or that museum exhibit you've wanted to get to. "That way, there's no way you'll come home and say, 'Well, that date was a complete waste of my precious time.' Unless, of course, you hated the film," says Harris.

7. Use "Dead Time" to Connect
Stuck in a traffic jam or doctor's waiting room? Stack advises carrying a box of pretty note cards in your bag at all times, along with your address book or PDA. So even when you're at the DMV, you'll be able to use that time to connect.

8. Be Choosy
Don't feel like you have to have lunch or a drink with anyone who asks. "In my business, I get hit up 20 times a month with people saying 'I want to pick your brain. I want to take you out to lunch,'" says Stack. "But you can't say yes to everyone, because then you'll never say yes to yourself." The more time you spend with that acquaintance whose company you don't particularly enjoy, the less time you'll have for the people who really matter.

Happy Holidays

Happy Holidays to all

for being with me through this year 2006

Take care to the next year 2007

LOVE YOU ALL