Dating a screen addict?

A couple of years ago, I overheard a telling snippet of conversation between two eight-year-old boys walking down the street. “Do you want to play Game Boy?” the pudgy, bored-looking one asked. The second boy shook his head. “Well, do you want to go inside and watch TV?” Replied the second boy, in an exasperated tone of voice, “Can’t we just do something that doesn’t involve looking at a screen?”

If you’re dating someone who’s addicted to his (or her) 47-inch plasma TV, portable gaming system, or whatever it is people do with their cell phones when they’re not actually talking on them, you’ve probably asked this question yourself. What can you do when the love of your life (and let’s face it, it’s most often a guy) can’t tear himself away from his PlayStation long enough to utter a simple “I love you?” Well, here are some suggestions:

Don’t nag. There’s something about yelling, “Turn that thing off already and answer my question!” that makes a guy think of his mother, not a promising prelude to a romantic evening. “Instead of criticizing and complaining, suggest some activity you both enjoy, like rollerblading or hiking,” says Diana Schneider, author of Opening Love’s Door: The Seven Lessons. “If you nag, it’s more fun for him to be with the TV or Game Boy than to be with you.”

Be proactive. If you and your boyfriend are living together, you can nip any excessive screen time in the bud by preventing the situation from getting out of hand in the first place. Next time you’re in Circuit City, steer him away from the wide-screen TVs and toward the stereo equipment (it may be more expensive, but at least he’ll glance at you once in a while). Rather than buying a Game Boy for his birthday, reserve a bed-and-breakfast vacation, preferably at a remote country inn with no TVs or wireless Internet.

Turn the tables. If your guy is still mesmerized by the Fox Network, you may have no choice but to wield the Nuclear Option, or what Schneider calls the “Fear of Loss” strategy: “Tell him he needs to carve out some couple time, or he should be prepared to lose you.” Short of this, she suggests, “as soon as he picks up the Game Boy, estimate how long he’s going to play, then go out and do something by yourself.”

Use your words. If your girlfriend is the type who feels the need to check her cell phone every five minutes — or actually calls up her friends in the middle of a date — Schneider says the calm, cool approach works best. “Tell her something like, ‘I really love it when you’re with me, so I would really appreciate it if you would limit your cell phone talk when we’re together,” she advises. Then, when she’s in the bathroom, fetch the gizmo out of her purse and load up a quick game of Tetris.