Sisters and Friendship

Sisters haven't enjoyed the best public relations throughout history. Cinderella's step-sisters tried to steal the show, Hollywood played havoc with sisterly relationships in films like HUSH HUSH SWEET CHARLOTTE, and even Mary and Martha in the Bible quarreled over housework.

Girls with sisters seemingly argue and compete, while boys resent sisters who spy and tell on them. Is it possible in today's society to have a positive relationship with a sister?

Indeed it is, by following suggestions like those below that have been gleaned from sister survivors:

1. Focus on the positives. Keep in mind your sister is human, too. She makes mistakes, says bitter things when angry, and is possessive about her belongings. But Sis also has goals, enjoys life, and wants to be successful, like you. Appreciate these similarities instead of emphasizing the differences between you.
2. Value your similarities. Some siblings look alike, act alike, talk alike, or think alike. Few pairs are totally different from each other. Look for ways to accent your common interests. If you're both political conservatives, jointly volunteer to help a local political party. If you both enjoy horseback riding, take riding lessons together. You'll be surprised how much fun you can have when you let your guard down.
3. Bridge the differences. If you both like shopping but treasure different styles, go to a mall together, go your separate ways to shop, then meet for lunch. If she enjoys cooking while you like dining out, take turns arranging dinner each month doing what each of you like. You like romantic comedies but she prefers drama? Rent one of each for an at-home video night with popcorn.
4. If one of you has offended the other, be frank about it. If you made the mistake, call or write with an apology. If your sister made the error, calmly ask to meet and explain how she hurt you, but say you want to "get over it" if she is willing. She may well appreciate your taking the initiative and more than likely, will reciprocate in mending fences.
5. Do something special for her. Plan a birthday or anniversary party, take her out for a wacky evening of fun, send a surprise gift. For example, if she is a nurse, send a decorator plaque with a cute nurse figurine. Get concert tickets for an evening of enjoyment, either for her and you, or her and her spouse. Unexpected thoughtfulness has a way of touching people's hearts.
6. Make fun family memories. Take photos, record dialog or songs, use the video camera to capture funny moments, or journal about the reasons why you appreciate having a sister. Send copies of these things to her. Writing a poem or short story about your shared family life is another way to preserve special bonds.

Many "only" children would love to have a sibling to share their family lives. Take time to savor your sister in these or other ways before each or both of your lives change, perhaps permanently.